By: Nick LaPorte, 9/26/2019
I’ll admit, the rankings may look stupid within a week or two. The NFL changes so quickly that the Bills (sorry to pick on you Buffalo) could be out of the playoff hunt in a couple weeks. Having said that, I’m making my picks based on what we know, not what we don’t. These rankings could be trash by the beginning of October… or they could be genius. Without further ado, the 32 NFL teams ranked 1-32.
1. New England Patriots (3-0)
A pair of divisional wins skew this but the reigning champs look as good as ever. 42-year old Tom Brady is a better QB than any QB not named Mahomes. You simply shouldn’t be that good at that age. With Julian Edelman, Josh Gordon, Phillip Dorset, and the RB combo of James White and Sony Michel, Brady may just have his best offense in a decade. And with their defense not surrendering a TD through 3 weeks… well, the league runs through New England. And nobody has proven they can beat them more than once. And the only dude who did that, Eli Manning, is riding the bench in New York.
2. Kansas City Chiefs (3-0)
The other AFC superteam looks even better than last year. MVP Patrick Mahomes tossed 5,000 yards and 50 TDs in his first year as a starter. Now, in year 2, he looks even better. Mahomes has 9 TDs and 0 INTs. Mahomes has yet to play in a dome since college, in a game in which he threw 6 TDs. This weekend, they face the Lions at Ford Field, you guessed it, a dome. Mahomes may ascend to the next level and finally get called up to the big leagues… wait, what? You’re saying he’s already breaking the league in the NFL… shit.
3. Los Angeles Rams (3-0)
A Super Bowl contender, the Rams fell apart in the big one last year to Brady’s Patriots. Still, the Rams carry high expectations and good results through 3 weeks. RB Todd Gurley, the highest paid RB in the NFL, has taken a step back. But the Rams are still unbeaten, and saving his best work for the playoffs is a great idea. Coach Sean McVay seems to be a great offensive mind, but Jared Goff needs to take the next step. Goff’s yards/game are the worst since his rookie year and his passer rating of 84.5 is the worst in years for him. McVay can only do so much; Goff needs to prove he’s worth his money. Otherwise the Rams window will close before it opens.
4. Dallas Cowboys (3-0)
After extending RB Ezekiel Elliot, the Cowboys were happy to keep it rolling, but QB Dak Prescott is also up for a new deal. Prescott’s 128 passer rating is elite, and his 10:2 TD:INT ratio is also elite. While Prescott was a game manager earlier in his career, he’s a true franchise QB now. The Cowboys should continue to lean on their ace, as Prescott has shredded defenses great and small. I expect Elliot will take on more of the workload as he works off his Cabo body, but Prescott is the x-factor. If he’s able to be an X-factor in a playoff game, all of Dallas will rejoice!
5. Green Bay Packers (3-0)
Aaron Rodgers, the former MVP and Super Bowl champion, has a real defense for the first time in almost a decade. In 2010, he won the big one because he had a defense he could trust. Since then, Rodgers has waited for the team to match his talent. Finally, with a suffocating defense through 3 weeks, the Packers may have the answer to how to win with Rodgers. It turns out, Rodgers, like all QBs, is better with a good team around him. Couldn’t have fired McCarthy fast enough.
6. Buffalo Bills (3-0)
The Bills deserve to be this high, because a 3-0 record is a 3-0 record. No one has been able to beat the Bills yet, something that would’ve seemed insane before the season. They face the Patriots next, their first true challenge, but the Bills are showing signs of a potential playoff team. Their defense looks stout, shutting out the Bengals for 2.5 quarters last week. Their offense, led by sophomore QB Josh Allen, is a mixed bag. But Allen is making strides in year 2. Once RB Devin Singletary is healthy, this Bills offense will continue to improve. The Patriots will win the division still, but a Wild Card may be in the cards for Buffalo.
7. San Francisco 49ers (3-0)
The NFC is a bloodbath, and only features 2 winless teams, and there’s a legitimate chance that 13 or 14 of the 16 teams believe themselves to be playoff contenders. Well, the 49ers have taken a step in that direction by starting 3-0. QB Jimmy Garoppolo has returned from a torn ACL and looks good, to the tune of a 96.3 passer rating and helping beat the Buccaneers and Bengals by 2+ scores. They actually have the 2nd best point differential behind only Dallas, and that’s a good predictor of who will actually make the playoffs.
8. Baltimore Ravens (2-1)
After trading Joe Flacco to the Broncos in the off-season, the Ravens showed confidence in 2nd year started Lamar Jackson. Despite constant criticism, Jackson so far has proved his critics wrong: Jackson has thrown for 863 yards on 63% completion, with 7 TDs and no interceptions. The real standout though has been former Saints RB Mark Ingram. Ingram is averaged 6 YPC and has found the end zone 5 times. The Ravens have an offense that matches their defense now, and are a clear-cut contender in the AFC.
9. New Orleans Saints (2-1)
Losing Drew Brees for a few weeks is bad, which I covered here. But backup QB Teddy Bridgewater is decent, and the Saints still have Michael Thomas and Alvin Kamara, perhaps the best WR/RB duo in the NFL. They’ll survive without Brees, as they showed with a win in Seattle. Although their secondary is suspect, I’m judging this team based on what I saw through 3 weeks. And they’re a top-10 team when they play like this.
10. Houston Texans (2-1)
Losing the opener to the Saints was tough, and the Texans certainly looked good enough to beat last year’s NFC-runner up. But the Texans have a real problem, and it’s their offensive line. It took forever for the Texans to find a franchise-QB, but they’ve found him in Deshaun Watson. The Watson and DeAndre Hopkins duo is by far the best QB/WR duo in football, but it only works when Watson is healthy. The Texans have allowed the 6th-most sacks and that number is only that low because Watson is mobile. If the Texans don’t figure this out soon we may have another Andrew Luck situation.
11. Detroit Lions (2-0-1)
Surprised to see the Lions this high? That will happen when you’re unbeaten through 3 weeks, a tie be damned. The Lions couldn’t put away the Cardinals in week 1 but they survived with a tie and beat two good teams in a row, the Chargers and Eagles. The Lions are league average in most categories, but they’re technically unbeaten. And last time they started without a loss through 3 weeks, in 2011, they made the playoffs.
12. Indianapolis Colts (2-1)
After last season, the Colts had one of the best rosters in football with a superstar QB. It looked like easy money that they would win their division and threaten the Chiefs and Patriots. Instead, Andrew Luck retired and most wrote off the Colts. As it stands, backup QB Jacoby Brissett is actually pretty good, and the Colts are solid in every aspect. If future Hall-of-Famer Adam Vinatieri didn’t miss 2 FGs and an extra point in week one they would be unbeaten. The Texans should win that division but the Colts have the makings of a playoff team.
13. Seattle Seahawks (2-1)
The Seahawks won 2 in a row and I thought it was a good sign, but their loss to the Saints was a pretty bad one. Russell Wilson turned it on in the second half but the Seahawks couldn’t stop the Saints from getting in the end zone. Gone are the days of the Legion of Boom, now the Seahawks rely on Wilson to pull out wins sometimes by himself. It was a step back for a good Seattle team, and due to the Rams and 49ers hot starts, the Seahawks already trail by a game in the standings. When there are 2 other good teams in your division you can’t blow games to a Brees-less Saints team.
14. Minnesota Vikings (2-1)
Kirk Cousins was brought in to fix the Vikings’ only weakness, but it hasn’t worked out the way they hoped. Ironically, the Vikings are better when they pound the ball with Dalvin Cook and rely on their tough defense. When Cousins has to win a game late, it seems like a turnover is inevitable. Which is exactly what we saw in week 2 against the Packers. But the Vikings are talented enough to make a playoff run even if Cousins turns the ball over late way too often.
15. Chicago Bears (2-1)
I don’t feel great about Chicago here but to their credit they’ve won 2 games and their defense looks as good as ever. The problem is Mitch Trubisky. I’ll tell you something you probably already know: the Bears traded up to draft Trubisky at #2 overall in a draft that saw Patrick Mahomes and Deshaun Watson go in the first round. If that doesn’t make you feel bad for Bears fans then nothing will.
16. Los Angeles Chargers (1-2)
This team went 12-4 and tied the Chiefs for best record in 2018, but were a Wild Card by virtue of a tiebreaker. There is no reason they should have 2 losses already. Whether it’s turnovers from Phillip Rivers or kicking issues, the same old Chargers appear to be back, not the solid team from last year that threatened the Chiefs for the #1 seed.
17. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-2)
Gardner Minshew II. That is all.
18. Philadelphia Eagles (1-2)
This is an underachieving Eagles team, but the injuries have piled up in such a way that it’s understandable. Ironically, Carson Wentz, who never stays healthy, is their one constant so far. He looks closer to his MVP form of 2 years ago than the checkdown King he was last year, and that’s good. We’ll know more after tonight’s contest with the Packers, but a 1-3 start would be hard to come back from. Especially with the Cowboys looking like 4-0 after this weekend.
19. Atlanta Falcons (1-2)
My opinion on the Falcons right now is TBD. Sometimes Matt Ryan looks like “Matty Ice” who won an MVP and nearly beat Brady’s Patriots in a Super Bowl 3 years ago. Other times he ignores WR Julio Jones, the best wideout in the NFL since Calvin Johnson retired. Luckily the Falcons have found a star in RB Devonta Freeman, and their defense is good enough to keep them in games. It’ll be up to Ryan though if they are going to make the playoffs, because that division has 4 decent teams.
20. Cleveland Browns (1-2)
Sorry I didn’t buy the preseason hype, but the Browns are still a work in progress. They can’t protect Baker Mayfield, and new coach Freddie Kitchens looks completely outmatched. For example, he called a draw play up the middle on 4th and 9 in the red zone late in last week’s loss to the Rams. That’s unacceptable. Mayfield also struggled to find Odell Beckham Jr. consistently, and their defense seems mediocre. Don’t write them off, but they already trail the Ravens by 2 games for the division. A team that won 1/32 games before last year will likely have to win 9/13 to make the playoffs… yikes.
21. Carolina Panthers (1-2)
Cam Newton is out but Kyle Allen is in! No one talked about him, with Daniel Jones of the Giants and my son Gardner Minshew II of the Jaguars grabbing all the headlines. But Allen was just as good, throwing for 261 yards and 4 TDs in a win against the Cardinals. If Allen can be solid, and Christian McCaffrey can keep averaging 150 yards a game, their defense will keep them in the hunt. Newton won an MVP and made the Super Bowl a few years ago, but Allen may be the future.
22. Tennessee Titans (1-2)
Though the Titans dominated the Browns in week one, they have looked lifeless in losses to the Colts and Jaguars. Marcus Mariota looks as bad as Mitch Trubisky at times, and as Bill Simmons mentioned on his podcast this week, I’m not sure to whom that’s more insulting. I’m not ready to call them done, but it’s close. Another loss or two will sink their season.
23. New York Giants (1-2)
It’s time to admit I was wrong. I thought Daniel Jones was drafted way too high at 6th overall, but he made me eat crow in his first start. He scored 4 TDs, led a game-winning drive to beat the Buccaneers in week three, and has given the Giants their Eli Manning successor… finally. It’s too early to tell if Jones will becomes a true superstar, but he passes the eye test so far. Star Saquon Barkley is out for the foreseeable future, so Jones will be the “guy” in New York.
24. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-2)
It was probably time to move on from Jameis Winston years ago, but the former #1 pick still quarterbacks the Bucs every Sunday. And despite their 1-2 record, they have a lot of talent. WRs Mike Evans and Chris Godwin are both great, and their defense has managed to force a few turnovers. I don’t trust Winston though, and think he will cost them a chance to make the postseason.
25. Oakland Raiders (1-2)
Derek Carr isn’t a good QB, but there are still a lot of good players on the Raiders. When Jon Gruden took the head coaching job before last season, they were preparing for the long haul. So far, their draft picks have panned out pretty well, and once they find a replacement for Carr they’ll actually find a way to make the playoffs again. But not this year, sorry Gruden. Knock on wood if you’re going to finish 6-10.
26. Arizona Cardinals (0-2-1)
I heavily criticized the Cardinals for taking Kyler Murray 1st overall and hiring Kliff Kingsbury to be their head coach, and I would like to announce that I was wrong. They haven’t won yet, but they’ve looked like a good offense in the making. Kingsbury is running an air raid scheme, with Murray attacking defenses with a high-percentage of medium passes. It has Larry Fitzgerald re-energized, but it still has them without a win. At the very least, the Cardinals have some hope for the future, something they didn’t have with Josh Rosen as their QB last year.
27. Pittsburgh Steelers (0-3)
Ben Roethlisberger is out for the year, Juju Smith-Schuster looks like he’s taken a step back, and Mike Tomlin’s unoriginal play calling are all bad signs. But they traded a 1st round pick for Minkah Fitzpatrick, a DB who forced a turnover in his first game with the Steelers. Still, unless Mason Rudolph is way better than I think, the Steelers may finish last place in the AFC North this year. And Mike Tomlin’s seat may be hotter than we think.
28. Denver Broncos (0-3)
We knew Joe Flacco wouldn’t be a show stopper in Denver, but we didn’t know their defense is actually not very good. I had them as a 9-7 team or better before the year, but they look more like a 5 or 6 win team at best. At least Emmanuel Sanders has recovered from his ACL injury.
29. Cincinnati Bengals (0-3)
Bengals coach Zac Taylor has this team playing with energy, which they never did for Marvin Lewis. So that’s a positive. Andy Dalton seems back to normal, and the Bengals have nearly won 2 of those games they lost. Whatever happens this year, Taylor looks like he may be a good coach, and that’s important. The Bengals stuck with mediocrity under Lewis, being happy to finish between 7-9 to 10-6 and make the playoffs occasionally. Taylor might be the coach that actually gets them some success in the playoffs, just not this year.
30. Washington Redskins (0-3)
The only 0-3 team in the NFC is the Redskins, and they plain old suck. Case Keenum turns the ball over a lot, their best running back is a 50 year old Adrian Peterson, and their defense is like Swiss cheese but with more holes. Don’t watch them play because it’ll make you like football less,
31. New York Jets (0-3)
This one is sad, because the Jets looked like a potential 10-win team in the preseason. But QB Sam Darnold has mono, which will sideline him for months, and backup Trevor Semien broke his leg in horrific fashion. If it’s any credit to the Jets, only the Patriots could have survived being on their 3rd-string QB. At least the Jets are bad by accident, unlike the last team on our list.
32. Miami Dolphins (0-3)
I’m offended by this year’s Dolphins, because I think tanking is bullshit. I hate it in the NBA, where teams throw away seasons to try and get better draft picks. The Dolphins don’t deserve a #1 pick, because they’re essentially forfeiting these games. They’ve managed 1 offensive TD in 3 games, and have lost by 25 points in every game so far. They traded away any good players, like Laremy Tunsil and Kenny Stills to Houston, or Minkah Fitzpatrick to the Steelers, and are content with going 0-16. The Lions and Browns have each done that this century, but those teams at least remained competitive. The Dolphins may lose every game by 2 scores this year, which is horrible. Do better.
Im not going to do these rankings every week but I’ll do them periodically over the season. Hope you enjoyed, and I close you with this thought:
THE NATIONALS CLINCHED A PLAYOFF SPOT AGAINST BRYCE HARPER’S PHILLIES ON THE SAME DAY WHERE THE NATIONALS ENDED PHILLY’S SEASON! SORRY BRYCE, WRONG CHOICE BUD!
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